okay. i know theres a lot of controversy circulating around. straits times, xin min, the Internet, whatever. and my feelings are mixed. no, its not that i dont trust the management or whatsoever. its just mixed feelings that i have.

well, on one side, im thinking that instead of trusting in man, i think its better that we trust God instead. and right here, I AM NOT saying that i dont trust the leaders. its just that i believe that there are no perfect being out there. we are only imperfect people serving a perfect God. we wont know what might happen cos everyday, there is like a constant battle in us. our minds seems to be like the battlefield between light and darkness. its a clear, fine line. and at times, its not that easy a battle to fight. and to me, i dont trust the leaders just because they are leaders. i trust them cos i believe that God will speak to them in all things. and i believe that they dont just fight the fight on their own might but with the Holy Spirit. cos its not by might nor by power but by the Holy Spirit.

so instead of blindly following, i agree with what Kenneth says, "we are loyal to our family. but that does not equates to blind loyalty". i want to defend my church. when people start saying things like "im not surprised" and "want to be rich? Set up a church, name it City Havest and misuse the funds donated by good samaritans", i'll think to myself, "please, has anyone said anything about them being guilty?! like c'mon! save your comments till there are such results (if there is gonna be any). like seriously! have they been proven guilty?! what does "investigation" means?! like really! quit putting charges and labeling people without even having proof that they are guilty. nothing is final until the last minute. and who knows, the next thing you see is an article that says my leaders are clean. well, i hope that by then, you'll not think that there was bribery or something going on under the table". seriously, seeing all these stuff and accusations just activated the bomb in me. im not against these people. just their words. i dont hate them, just the thing they say. who wants to be labelled as a criminal for a crime that has not been proven to be done by him/her?! so truly like what Ps. Eileen says, "On bended knees I come. Let those who launched the complaints be struck in their consciences and have sleepless nights till they relent. Nonetheless, they are not my enemies. They are my 'friends'".

but anyways, i believe that everything happens for a reason. and this will only lead to greater breakthroughs. so truly, all these happens so that God should be revealed in us (John 9:3). like in the past, when we are always in the spotlight for doing something different, after the valley will be the mountains. after this persecution, will come even great breakthroughs. we will be lifted up to a whole new level. i believe in Jesus' name, AMEN! so, after going through this valley experience, we will all soar to the high mountains with Him, as one family.

so in a meantime, like what Ps. Eileen says, "They (Ps. Kong and SUN) were there for us when we were in crisis. Now, let's be there for them. Whatever the outcome of the investigation, our relationship and family stays true." so truly, no matter what happens, its not about whether they are guilty or not. its the love that we have for one another. its whether or not we are by each other during this whole period and even after. its the love, not the facts or the judgement. City Harvest is my family and my home. it's where i grew up in. it helped to shape who i am today. and im staying. to fight the good fight of faith. im not gonna leave them just like that.

xoxo (with TRUCKLOADS of love),

Shine